Tips for Supporting Disclosure of Sexual Violence

When someone opens up about their experience of sexual violence, your response can greatly impact their healing process. It's vital to engage in these conversations with empathy and a clear understanding of the complexities involved. Knowing how to respond can be challenging, here are some tips to ensure it is a safe & supportive space.

Listening Actively

Listening actively is one of the most effective ways to support someone who has disclosed their experience. This means giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and displaying engagement in their words. Resist the urge to interrupt or offer advice. Allow them to share their story without feeling judged. Often our words are not enough in moments like this, but we can show up with our physical presence and listening to whatever they feel comfortable sharing.

Recognising their strength in sharing encourages them to lean on others. Phrases like "Thank you for sharing with me" or "Thank you for trusting me" and "I'm so sorry this happened to you". These responses reassure someone that they can share their story and that you are there for support. Research shows that people who feel heard are 80% more likely to continue seeking help. The act of listening itself can be a significant step in their healing journey.

Validating Their Feelings

Validation is a key element in supporting someone who has faced sexual violence. By acknowledging their emotions, you help them understand that whatever they feel is natural. You might say, "It's completely understandable to feel confused or angry after going through something like this." Such validations can have a profound effect. Studies indicate that individuals who receive emotional validation are 60% more likely to seek more support for their experiences.

Be aware of comments that minimise their feelings. We may do this unintentionally when we are trying to "fix the situation" through statements like "At least it wasn't worse", "You should be grateful you’re okay" or "maybe it happened because of this". Statements like these can diminish the trauma and cause people to shut down and close off even more, preventing them from seeking more help.. Instead, let them know that whatever they are experiencing is significant and deserves recognition.

Being Mindful of Emotional Response

In these moments we may feel a strong emotional reaction which is natural. Being a grounding force for the other person is very powerful. This means that keeping a certain level of control over our emotional reaction can be very impactful for the person disclosing. If they share their experience and you begin to cry, they may suddenly be concerned about your feelings, it make take the focus away from them and they may develop a hesitancy around sharing their story with others as they do not wish to upset them.

We may think that expressing emotions such as crying is a way to show our empathy, but we need to be careful that the focus does not shift away from the person who is disclosing trauma. We can show empathy and support, while maintaining a calm and grounded space.

Maintaining Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of trust when someone discloses sexual violence. It is our role to keep information competely private and confidential. We allow them the time and space to decide when and who they share it with, if they report the violence and what is right for them. This practice builds trust and creates a safe space for them to process their emotions.

If disclosure of violence happens in a professional setting, you may be in a position that requires you to exercise your duty of care- especially if the threat may be ongoing. The best way to proceed is to share with the person what your duty of care means and discuss the process of who will need to be informed in order to keep them safe. It's important that they are involved in as much as the process as they want to be and that they are given clear options: reporting options, profesional support options, opting for no reporting/support. The important thing is that they get to decide what is right for them.

Many people may choose not to report a crime, tell others or seek professional help and that is okay. The important thing is that if and when someone does, it is their decision and not because they are feeling pressured.

If someone indicates they need immediate help or are in current danger, you can offer to link them with the appropriate services. This may be professionals who specialise in sexual trauma, psychologists, domestic violence services etc. If you need to break confidentiality for safety reasons, this needs to be communicated first to the person. Transparency is vital and will help to maintain trust.

Professional Support

Though your support plays a vital role, professional help is more specialised. You can ask, "How would you feel about talking to a therapist who specialises in trauma?" This option can offer specific support.

When discussing seeking professional help, messages can be focused on the strength in making that decision. Messaging like this demonstrates to people that asking for help is not a weakness. A 2022 survey revealed that 75% of individuals who sought professional help for trauma felt a sense of relief and progress within the first month.

Checking In

Support does not end after the first conversation. It's really important to check in with the person afterwards to see how they're coping. A simple private check in, text or call saying, "How have you been feeling lately?" can go a long way in showing you care.

Be patient with their healing process. Offering a consistent presence—without applying pressure or judgement to share more than they are comfortable with—can help them feel supported. A 2021 study found that ongoing support from friends led to a 50% increase in individuals feeling secure in their healing journey.

Healing Journey

Navigating discussions about sexual violence disclosures requires sensitivity, patience, and empathy. By listening actively, validating feelings, being mindful of your emotional response, maintaining confidentiality, encouraging professional support, and checking in, you can provide meaningful support. Your response can empower them on their healing journey, reinforcing that they are seen, heard, and supported.